Peter Pan Syndrome

Peter Pan syndrome, also known as puer aeternus meaning eternal boy in Latin, is a psychological condition where an older man cannot grow up emotionally and mentally. This syndrome is caused by a desire to remain young and not face the responsibilities of his adulthood. This syndrome is usually coupled with great dependence on the mother. Peter Pan syndrome is usually caused by the rejection from the adult world. As a defense, the person hides from the adult world. A fear of failure and insecurity lead him to rely more on his mother who is an ultimate provider of care, love, and confidence. As a result, person with Peter Pan syndrome tends to be rebellious towards the social orders and rules.

Specific Symptoms
• Find it hard to show their love and express their feelings
• Lose touch with their emotions and have no idea what they feel
• Procrastinate and put off making a commitment
• Feel guilty and blame others for everything
• Have difficulty in relaxing and are always tense
• Have no real connection with friends. Believes friends can only be bought
• Easily panics and feels desperately alone in their attempts to belong
• Alcohol or drug abuse is used to get high in order to drown out the existence of daily life challenges
• Have a problem with their mother
• Don't get on with the Dad and probably not even talking to them
• They believe their parents don't love them and never approve of what they do
• Have problems with authority figures
• Tend to be emotionally immature and exhibit silly behavior
• Have a macho attitude that hides their deep inner insecurities in attempts to hide the fear of rejection
• Become extremely jealous and exhibit violent outbursts
• Become easily provoked to fits of rage when a woman asserts any independence

The term Peter Pan syndrome was coined by pop psychologist Dan Kiley in his book “Peter Pan syndrome: Men who Have Never Grown Up.” Peter Pan is in reference to J.M. Barrie’s classic play Peter Pan where a boy refuses to grow up.

Author: Gabe Choi